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My cats aren't going to like it. 2006 is the year of the dog (starting Jan 29).

Listen closely. Why is the menu always changing? Don't answering services have anything better to do than constantly reprogram their main menu?

Annual Meme: Tag, you're it . . . give me one, just one, New Year's Resolution. Beth won't.

Another thing ~ Please stand by. Stand by what? Your man?

3rd Global Township (if that's not too obscure for you ;-) has the year in review. I like that idea. I'm going to steal it.

Finished my first book I got for Christmas: Serious by John McEnroe. I bought it for myself for a buck. If you like tennis and Mac and juicy gossip, it's worth it.

BIG BIG BIG = I passed the 5,000 visitor mark. I promised a prize to that lucky person and the cash reward goes to Rodney Dill who hosts Outside the Beltway's caption contests. Go buy yourself a success poster.

You're already aware of the leap second we'll miss tomorrow night. If not, try to catch up, will you?

Random Prediction: USC will beat Texas 45 to 27. Best Rose Bowl ever.

And finally, I want to thank - in no particular order - Kevin, Beth, David, Wayne, Mark, Basil (his real name), Lisa, Tim, Gwynne, Jen, and some ambiguous personas (Yak, TMH, FL), along with some recent contacts John, Josh, Steven, and others - who've been faithful readers, posters, linkers, and who've ultimately helped Bloggin' Outloud brighten up this part of the 'sphere and, I hope, brighten up your daily routine as well. Happy New Year. May God bless you richly in 2006.

Friday Funny & Open Links

Toddler Property Laws
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

Claiming what's mine at: Jo's Cafe, Ferdy's Place, 3rd World's County, Outside's Beltway (Plus, I'm an honorable mention at OtB's recent Caption Contest!)

Kansas News and KGB Roundup (12.29.05)

Yes, Kansas News does occasionally make the National Spotlight. And my goal with this weekly Kansas News & KGB Roundup (Kansas Guild of Bloggers) is to highlight not only the popular but bring to light some great posts from the Great Plains. If you're a KS blogger, feel free to submit a link to this weekly event via Blog Carnival or Ferdy's Carnival Submit Form.

First, the Headlines (source: Wichita Eagle)

Bill's Little Apple ball drop to be televised nationally ~ Now in its third year, the festivities are designed to mimic the televised event in Times Square in New York City. The event takes place in Aggieville, which is home to Kansas State University.

High schooler is first Kansan picked for elite Grammy band ~ Alexander Bailey, who turned 18 on Christmas Day, is the first Kansan ever selected for the Gibson/Baldwin Grammy Jazz Band which will play in events surrounding the annual music awards.

Pet bear attacks Neosho County sheriff's car ~ Okay, this didn't make national news, but a family's pet bear has outworn its welcome in Neosho County after repeatedly escaping from its cage and attacking a deputy's patrol car last week. Unbearable!

Now, the Blog Posts (source: All over Kansas, mostly unsolicited at this point, so start submitting links to the carnival!)

JD at Evolution is a blogger after my own heart, having fun with a post in which j.d. answers questions suggested by his referral logs, II. I like this one: administrators pay prince of peace olathe kansas ~ "I’m sure Jesus is not a paid shill for the City of Olathe."

Joshua at Thoughts from Kansas laments Representative Todd Tiahrt's call for a consumption tax. He writes, "Flat taxes, consumption taxes and their ilk are simplistic solutions to serious, complex problems." Worth discussing. TfK's comments has more.

Pat at Red State Rabble comments on ID at the Crossroads and the mothballing of ID theorist William Dembski's Uncommon Descent. Pat will miss UD, he writes, because when he needed "inspiration for a post with a good belly laugh, Dembski's blog was our go-to site."

Ching at Almost Famous shares a pic of a friend tasting some fresh coconut juice and is a teensy weensy bit jealous that she didn't get any. Sorry, Ching. BTW, what is pasalubong?

John of Argghhh! - who can't get out of this carnival no how - is also a catblogger. He says I Should Have Known that it wasn't the temperature that brought these two cats together!

Congratulations to Steven at Kansas Info Quartermaster who had his commentary on payday lending posted online at the Wichita Eagle ~ MY VIEW: PASS LAW TO COMBAT PREDATORY LENDING. Good points scored. Also read the many comments at WE Blog.

Shea, who is actually a California Girl in Kansas, had a fantastically random day. This blog is quite random that way. But she's had 80,000 visitors! I guess I should ask her for advice.

And Finally, In Appreciation: Science and Politics spotted us on his radar and gave us a plug: Another New Carnival ~ The first issue of KGB (Kansas Guild of Bloggers) is up on Bloggin' Outloud. I love the way regional carnivals are sprouting everywhere! Check the other 170 ongoing carnivals here. (ed. note: update, the link works now)

Will You Be Mr or Ms 5000?

Coming up on my 5,000th visitor since migrating to blogger. Probably tomorrow - or you can break my daily record and keep hitting refresh all afternoon. If I catch which one of you kids did it, I'll have a nasty surprise waiting for you. If you think you're the one, then turn yourself in and receive your reward.

How Not to Dialog About ID & Evolution

When someone posts an anonymous comment, my inclination is to ignore it. After all, if one doesn't have the courtesy to leave an email address for further private dialog or a website for public discussion, then the ensuing ad lib communication often becomes an exercise in frustration. (Oh yeah?! Yeah! Says who? Says me. Well, my brother is bigger than your brother! :-)

Here's an example of what I mean. I've started blogrolling some Kansas blogs - in the hopes of building a guild that will eventually squash Basil's 'Bama Bloggers or Carolina Consortium or Georgia Gaggle or wherever the heck he's from - and have found (surprisingly, to me at least) a number of, shall we say, non-conservative sites. Mostly folks who seem to be berating Kansans for being ignorant anti-science (code word for people who disagree with them?) dupes.

For instance, Pat Hayes at Red State Rabble is unabashed in sharing his opinion about this state of confusion (pun intended). He has some good points - and in an editorial blog like many of us host it's probably natural to bash the position of others and sort it out later (is that what I'm doing here? :-)

My thought: Blogs are open commentaries and spirited, but polite, interaction is expected. Mockery, however, doesn't encourage dialog and is best ignored (or deleted ;-)

Why I Don't Wash Open Post

Why I Don't Wash*
10. I don't have time to wash.
9. People who wash are hypocrites.
8. Too many types of soap to choose from.
7. I used to wash, but it was boring.
6. I still wash on Christmas and Easter.
5. None of my friends wash.
4. I'll wash when I get older.
3. I was made to wash as a child.
2. The bathroom's never warm enough.
1. People who make soap are only after your money.

~*~

Do you like humor? Then check out my "Flash Fiction Five Pack" (Volume 1). This collection of 5 Humor Shorts is available for only 99 cents at Smashwords and Amazon.

Just so you know what you're getting into, here are a series of "micro-horrors" (not in my 5 Pack) that you can read for free.

Thanks for dropping by!

(* BTW, this is a fun little metaphor. Anyone actually "get" it? ;)

Humor Break

Do you enjoy humor?

Then check out my "Flash Fiction Five Pack" (Volume 1). This collection of 5 Humor Shorts is available for only 99 cents at Smashwords and Amazon.

Just so you know what you're getting into, here are a series of humorous "micro-horrors" (not in my 5 Pack) that you can read for free.

Thanks for stopping by!

My Cat's Resolutions for the New Year

Laurence Simon is Asking the Cats

About Their 2006 Resolutions

Purry: I will not be grumpy. But I am 16, so if I become "Ms Grumples", I have an excuse.

Penny: I will not bother Purry. But I am 1, so if I bother "Ms Grumples" I have an excuse.

Wed Open Post and Pun Report

Today's Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Rain dampened the rally.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

Some Headline Humor

WICHITA (LPs Wire)
Unsolicited Comments
Captioning Today's Headlines

You Can Become a Headline Winner! Just enter this week's caption contest by commenting on the last headline below.

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP)
Prof Honored for Solving Old Math Problem
Question: If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? Oh wait, that's a philosophical problem. But I think the answer is yes.

USA Today.com
Whatever happened to thank- you notes?
Cards at Hallmark reunion also question sympathy's whereabouts

SANTA FE, N.M.(AP)
Restraining Order Against Letterman Tossed
Judge gives 10 reasons for ruling

NEW YORK (AP)
Sirius Tops 3 Million Subscribers
XM: Siriusly?

WASHINGTON (AP)
CIA Probes Renditions of Terror Suspects
Next time they'll probe the actual suspects

WASHINGTON (AP)
Stocks drop, led by energy and retail shares
Electricity shockingly low; toilet paper touches a new bottom

Now It's Your Turn
Dan Tynan, special to PC World
Predictions for 2006
Your Comment Here - Go Ahead, Give It A Try!

Headline Roundup

Basil's Blog (12-27-05)

Dane Bramage (12-21-05)

Odds, Ends, and Search String Silliness

I found the secret to lots of hits. Blog about a popular topic that everyone will search for. I know, I'm slow. But this phenomenon still fascinates me. I've already drawn lurkers to Bloggin' Outloud looking for sex (they didnt' find much). Random Yak believes these searches affirm our place in the 'sphere and educate us about ourselves. He features a U.S-E.R. of the day. Fascinating, in a funny sorta way. Keep the feature, Yak.

So, for this week's roundup, by far the most popular string is Toga the Penguin. (BTW, MSN is beating Google in the search wars on this one.) I'm glad I found the secret interview with the penguin's kidnappers!

Second place is Baking Cookies With Your Cat. This catblogging favorite is not original with me, but this post is a consistently good draw.

If you want to be popular, it doesn't hurt to have bloggin in your blog title, either. And finally, someone got a clue that it's not Blogging Outloud!

Controversy pays, too. But no, the ACLU and NPR and MTV haven't merged, but people are looking for the organization called ACLUNPRMTV. What they found was a lark.

And finally, who would want to admit that they are jobless in Seattle? They won't like my answer.

Well, that's it for now. Oh, and one last thing. Blogger went speaking Mexican again.

Open Pun, er, Post

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Too Much Public Information

Yikes! Is your driver's license posted on the web? Visit the Driver's License Search database to find out.

Under the Motor Vehicle Operator License Identification Act (MOLIA - enacted on July 9, 2005), all US states are required to digitally store a copy of every valid driver's license. License data must be made retrievable by The National Motor Vehicle License Bureau in order to form a consolidated and centralized database of U.S. driver's licenses. On August 3rd, 2005 Congress enacted an amendment to the Freedom of Information Act, providing public access to motor vehicle driver's information in an electronic format.

Check it out and then write your congressperson to get this reversed!

Hat Tip: Dave's Not Here - Goodbye Privacy!

It's my birthday and I can blog if I want to

And I can open post if I want to. So there.
But first, laugh at this Pun for the Holidays...

A man went to his dentist because his mouth felt funny. The dentist examined him and said, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replied, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious. Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," said the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time I'll use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient. To which the dentist replied, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

Sex & Love

My First Review for Blog For BooksSponsored by Mind and Media.Book donated by the publisher.

From the jacket of:
Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships
by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D., Lisa A. Firestone, Ph.D., & Joyce Catlett

Sexuality can be one of the most fulfilling pleasures in life. Yet it is an aspect of relationships that is complex and sometimes fraught with difficulty. Given the mixed messages about sexuality that exist in our culture, it is hardly surprising that people encounter difficulties in achieving intimacy. Indeed, they have considerable difficulty in communicating and working out their differences. Furthermore, therapy for sexual dysfunction has tended to emphasize physiological and technical issues over the psychological ones that the authors believe are at the root of many couples' problems.

In Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Firestone and his coauthors explore the dimensions of healthy sexuality and love. Drawing on their forty years of combined clinical experience and a unique longitudinal study of couples and families, they propose that sexual problems are largely related to defenses acquired through painful childhood experiences. They describe the effects of the core defense, that is, the "fantasy bond," which is an illusion of connection originally with the mother or primary caregiver. The fantasy bond is later transferred to a romantic partner and predisposes alienation in the relationship. They explain how secondary defenses, in the form of critical internal "voices," support negative views of one's self and of one's partner, interfering with closeness and intimacy.

In clear language and conceptualization and through the liberal use of case material from therapy sessions, the authors show how individuals can be helped to overcome these challenges and become physically and emotionally closer to their partners. The authors provide therapists with a cognitive/affective/behavioral technique for treating couples.

Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships is thought-provoking reading for anyone interested in what sustains a loving and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Reflection so far: I just got the book and have a positive first impression. I think it will deliver on it's promise to unravel some of the complexities of sexual intimacy. Next week, I'll give you a full review. Thanks for reading. lgp

UPDATE: Jan 9, 2006 ~ Read the completed review here.

Homespun Blogger Break (12.24.05)

Taking a Jellyroll Blogroll Break. Sample some of these morsels

from Homespun Bloggers with me. If you have a tasty appetizer

to share, please feel free to trackback here, but also link to this

post so that others can enjoy the buffet. (If you need help with

trackbacks, read this and this. It's not that bad, really!)

 

• Espresso Roast exposes Darwinism: The Evolutionaray Cult
• Nehring the Edge reviews It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
• Dave's Not Here reminds us that NORAD is tracking Santa
• Tidbits and Treasures shares the Season of the Heart
• Ogre's Politics & Views: No Economic Freedom in NC

 

Feliz Navidad from Blogger

Either Blogger has determined that most of its users are Hispanic and so went with a 100% Spanish version, or a Christmas jokester hacked into Blogspot and gave us all a Feliz Navidad. Too funny.

Christmas Headlines (& Open Posts)

This Weekend's Christmas Headlines

WICHITA (LPs Wire)
Unsolicited Comments
Captioning Today's Headlines

You Can Become a Headline Winner! Just enter this weekend's caption contest by commenting on the last headline below.

JAKARTA (Reuters)
He knows if you've been bad or good
Claims claus in Patriot Act gives Santa permission to wiretap

LONDON (AFP)
In Britain, charity goats are the Christmas rage
Avoids French row over charity pork soup served to Muslims

OSLO (Reuters)
Where does Santa live?
Superhero wants eviction, invokes eminent domain to build Fortress of Solitude

UK (Telegraph)
Deaf girl hears Jingle Bells for the first time
Wonders if Bobtail is name of horse

LONDON (AP) ~ Last Week's Headline Winner: Me
Elton John to Tie the Knot With Partner
Promises to "build a big house where we both can live"

Now It's Your Turn
MIAMI (Reuters)
Christmas goodies arrive at orbiting space station
Dane: A nervous world anxiously considers the devasting impact of fruitcake lauched from orbit.

Headline Roundup So Far

Basil's Blog (I stole the Jingle Bells link from him)

Dane Bramage (Great one about misunderstood Santas on rampage in NZ)

Santaray Caption Contest

What is Santa thinking? Your caption below.

Carnival of Christmas at Adam's Blog

The Carnival of Christmas is up at Adam's Blog.

Penguin Kidnappers Questioned

Outlook grim for Toga, the stolen penguin

LONDON (Reuters, December 22, 2005) - Police said Thursday they feared the worst for a baby penguin whose plight has prompted headlines around the world after he was stolen from a British zoo five days ago. Toga, a three-month-old Jackass penguin, was snatched on Saturday night from the Amazon World zoo on the Isle of Wight, off the south coast of England.

This Just In . . .
Julius and Ethel Iceburg, two suspects in the disappearance of Toga the Jackass Penguin, have been detained for questioning. Here is a leaked transcript from deep inside CIA headquarters as authorities seek to solve this crisis, which has already put Antarctica on high alert.

Julius and Ethel, do you or do you not recognize this penguin?



Julius: "Nope, never seen him."Ethel: "Is that Pepe LePew?"

"I resemble that comment."

Oh, come now. We can't tell your kind apart. But can't you I.D. each other based on ID or something?

Julius: "Hey, after marching back and forth 70 miles ..."
Ethel: "... in the snow, up hill ..."
Julius: "... up hill, both ways ... everyone looks the same, I tell you!"

Then I'm afraid we're going to have to get tough.

"Hey wait! Didn't the President put a ban on torture?"

This is truth serum. It' won't hurt a bit.Now you'll have to tell us where you've taken Toga.(no penguins were hurt during the shooting of this drug)

Julius: "I'll never tell. I'll never ... reveal ..."

Julius: "Ooh, I'm feeling...woosy."

Good. Now tell us. Where is Toga?

Ethel: "We sold him to SD-6. He's tied to this Rambaldi business."Julius: "He's now undercover as an exotic dancer in Mexico."

Why? What could possibly prompt you to sellout a fellow penguin and betray your country?

Ethel: "Well, first of all, he was a Jackass..."Julius: "Hey, can I have some more of that stuff?"

Text © 2005 Lyn Perry